The Fork in The Road

It might sound abstract, but it is true: our lives are the sum of our choices and the consequences of these choices.

Life’s path is also made up of many forks in the road. Every day really. Do I go to gym, yes or no? Do I have another glass of wine? Then there are the big ones, such as what to study or who to marry. In these instances, how do we decide? Whose advice do we seek and whose advice do we heed and why? Fascinating stuff.

As you may know, I started my career in equity derivatives. In keeping with my invitation for authenticity, I need to admit this career was a complete fluke. I wanted to be a fashion designer and study in New York.

It went something like this…

“No way will I pay for those studies,” my father declared. “You’ll be unemployed.”

“No way can you go far from home,” my mother added. “You get carsick, remember?”

So, I studied French, Italian and international business instead at a reputable university just a two-hour drive from home, in the American Deep South. There was continuity in my Republican upbringing and the dorms were single sex. My parents got what they wanted, lock, stock and barrel. Truth be told, I’ve always been convinced my American birth was a processing error, a bad joke at best.

When I completed my Bachelor’s degree, I moved to Paris with a thousand dollars in my pocket and quickly found myself in a dysfunctional love affair with a closet homosexual man, which ended in heartache and a desire to understand.

It was the 1990s and sexual re-orientation was very much a thing. I wanted to understand what drove human behaviour, including sexual orientation as well as my attraction to a clearly unavailable man. So, I set out to become a psychologist.

“Very poorly regarded, Mademoiselle,” declared the mother of the French family who rented me a room, her normally jovial cheeks full of scorn. “Crazy as loons they are. You’re not in the States here. In France, we confess our sins and get on with our lives. Voilà!”

While Madame had a narrow view of psychologists, she embraced the breadth of French cuisine and poured copious amounts of amour into each meal. She generously shared her knowledge of food, wine and the arts de la table, for which I am to this day eternally grateful.

So, I studied economics and finance instead at one of France’s best universities, where I had studied during my Junior Year Abroad programme.  Doors opened both socially and professionally and I fell into an internship with Société Générale, thanks to a woman I met at an afternoon tea party, who is now a very dear friend.

And thus it happened, my professional call to adventure. No dark forest, great tree or babbling spring. A fortuitous blunder at best. I was carried by the smooth ripples on the surface of my privileged life towards trading rooms in Paris, Lisbon, the Mediterranean then Sydney, unknowingly being drawn into a relationship with forces I could not identify, let alone rightly understand.

Ripples run very deep. As deep as the soul itself.

 

In-spired Living Sparks

In his 2005 Stanford commencement speech, Steve Jobs said, “You cannot connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backwards. It can be a deeply powerful and moving exercise to look back at our lives and see how we have been shaped by people, events and our choices, then create the space to consciously determine who we want to be.

 

The following questions might feel confronting, but they hold the key to your growth and ultimately your well-being.

  1. What are the major forks in your life?
  2. How did you decide which course of action to take?
  3. If you sought advice, whose advice did you seek?
  4. What does this person represent for you in terms of values?
  5. Which key events in your life have brought you to your current professional situation?
  6. Were they planned or did they “just happen”?
  7. Steve Jobs went on to say, “So you have to trust the dots will connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.” What do you have trust in?

 

ASK SUZANNE…

1. Why is it important to make choices that align with my authentic self?

Making choices that resonate with your authentic self is crucial for a fulfilling and purpose-driven life. It ensures that your actions align with your values, fostering a sense of authenticity and inner harmony.

2. How can I identify my authentic interests, passions, and skills?

Reflect on activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Consider what you enjoyed doing as a child, explore different hobbies, and assess feedback from others regarding your skills. This self-discovery process helps you pinpoint your authentic interests, passions, and skills.

3. What steps can I take to integrate my authentic self into my career choices?

Identify the aspects of your job that align with your interests, passions, and skills. Explore opportunities for growth and development in areas that resonate with your authentic self. Consider career paths that allow you to express your true identity and contribute meaningfully.

4. How do I navigate societal expectations while staying true to my authentic self?

Acknowledge societal expectations but prioritize your own values and beliefs. Communicate openly with others about your choices and establish boundaries. Embrace the courage to pursue a path that aligns with your authentic self, even if it diverges from societal norms.

5. Can I still make practical decisions while honoring my authentic self?

Yes, practicality can coexist with authenticity. Consider how your choices align with your long-term goals and overall well-being. Find a balance between your passions and the practical aspects of life to create a sustainable and fulfilling lifestyle.

6. How do I overcome fear and self-doubt when making choices aligned with my authentic self?

Acknowledge that fear and self-doubt are natural emotions when stepping into the unknown. Focus on your strengths and past successes. Surround yourself with a supportive network and remind yourself of the importance of staying true to your authentic self.

7. What role does self-awareness play in making authentic choices?

Self-awareness is essential for making authentic choices. Regularly assess your values, interests, and passions. Be mindful of your feelings and reactions to different situations. This self-awareness guides you in making choices that resonate with your authentic self.

8. How can I handle external opinions and criticisms when choosing a path aligned with my authentic self?

Stay true to your convictions and recognize that not everyone will understand or support your choices. Seek constructive feedback, but ultimately trust your own judgment. Surround yourself with a supportive community that encourages your authenticity.

9. Are there specific techniques for aligning daily decisions with my authentic self?

Practice mindfulness to stay present and in tune with your true desires. Regularly evaluate your choices and adjust course if needed. Prioritize activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, ensuring that your daily decisions align with your authentic self.

10. What benefits can I expect from consistently making choices in line with my authentic self?

Consistently aligning your choices with your authentic self leads to increased fulfillment, a sense of purpose, and improved overall well-being. It fosters greater self-confidence, resilience, and a deeper connection with your passions, ultimately creating a more meaningful and satisfying life.

Welcome!

My personal mission is to never stop opening up people’s lives. I do this by helping them navigate change with courage, find compassion for themselves and others and live with authenticity, grace and joy. Maybe these ideas speak to you? If so, I would be deeply honoured to accompany you on this path.

Want to explore these ideas further?

Simply book a non-obligation discovery Call today to discuss how we can work together.

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Why go through life when you can grow through life?